The Act of Forgiving
by Moosxaxlot
Summary: Actions come with consequences. When things went to far, he was expelled. When the pressure became too much he tried to vanish forever. RLSB Warning on boyxboy, language, and an altered sequence of events.
1. Prologue

_Author's note:_ I know. Another random story before I post the chapters I've made everybody wait for. I'm sorry, but the idea popped into my head.

_Description:_ Actions come with consequences. When things went to far, he was expelled. When the pressure became too much he tried to vanish forever.

_Warning:_ Knowing me, the language will get worse. Also, this story doesn't follow the time line or actual events of Harry Potter exactly. And there will be slash in later chapters. RLSB slash.

_Disclaimer:_ I don't own Harry Potter, and I'm not being paid. Sadly.

Key: _italics_ - stressed words or thoughts.

"..." talking.

* * *

**The Act of Forgiving**

_Prologue_

The beautiful woman blushed madly beneath her veil as her bright green eyes filled with tears. A long white dressed hugged her body in all the right places, bright red hair carefully braided to accentuate her natural beauty. Beside her a messy black haired man beamed, hazel eyes sparkled behind squarish glasses as his breath caught at the sight of the woman he loved. He had cleaned up quite nicely if he did say so himself. And he had, several times as he shared small talk with his two best mates just hours before as they'd helped him pull on the tux. His hands gently took hers as he whispered a repeat of what the priest had said.

"With this ring, I thee wed." he slid the glittering band down her finger and many people burst into tears to match the bride's.

In the last row, a man wiped at his own leaking eyes as he watched the people he used to know interact up front. His memories were crashing around him and even though it hurt, oh bloody Merlin it hurt, he couldn't stop them. He'd never been able to. Not from the first attempt at contact with him after things had all went wrong. Everything had been horrifying and quite traumatic. If it hadn't been for the sympathetic man he could see sitting in the second row in he never would have been able to slide into his new life. The elderly Headmaster had helped him get into a good muggle school, figure out how to take care of himself without magic, got him through countless bouts of depression the initial transfer had brought on, and finally heeded his wishes to stick solely to Christmas cards unless the situation was important.

He owed The silver haired man with his long beard everything. Even being here now. Sitting and watching his former best mate marry the woman he'd pined after for as long he he could remember. His only correspondent from his old life had broken the Christmas card rule to inform him of the wedding and even though it broke his heart to see the light brown and mousy haired men in a place he'd been promised since he'd first met the man with glasses, he was glad he'd come. Even if he didn't deserve to be here at all.

What he'd done... What he'd done to the happy people standing up front was unforgivable. He'd betray them in the worst way possible. Even if they wanted to forgive him, which they simply could not, he knew he could never forgive himself. He'd lowered himself to a standard so low and so despicable... He felt a sharp pain in his lip as he bit through it and quickly brought it into his mouth to suck on while he closed his eyes and concentrated on not making a scene. It worked and he opened his eyes just as the priest spoke the most eagerly anticipated words in the wedding.

"You may now kiss the bride."

As he watched the messy haired man move aside the veil, lips softly pressing against those of his new wife's, he felt his breath catch in his throat and brought a hand across his eyes to wipe away the tears. He couldn't drive back like this. If his vision was blurred by tears he'd wreak and that wouldn't solve anything even if it would get rid of the pain. He was past that stage and had been for a long time now. He slowly stood with the other guests, knowing he couldn't risk staying for the rest of the celebration. He'd just started toward the door when a hand caught his shoulder.

"Not even going to say hi to an old friend?" a soft voice asked. He turned his head and gave the elderly man a watery smile before leaning forward to give him a quick hug.

"Thank you... It means a lot." he didn't have to elaborate. He could tell by the way the light blue eyes twinkled that he understood.

"Are you leaving now?" the old man asked instead, pulling them both out of the way of those that had already congratulated the couple and were heading off to the dinner that was waiting.

"I should get going... I don't want them to know I came..." he whispered, carefully pulling a strand of long black hair out of his face as he wiped at his slightly red eyes once again. The old man frowned slightly and sighed as he pat the younger on the shoulder.

"I can understand your concerns, and I will respect them, but I cannot say that I agree." he said softly and the black haired boy nodded.

"I know you don't. But I have to do what I have to do. I screwed up. I can't take that chance again. It's not fair to any of them. I'm sorry..." on a whim he glanced up toward the front of the room and was unable to stop himself from gasping as his silver eyes locked with the glasses covered hazel. The newlywed man went completely still, causing not only his wife but best men to glance over and see what was going on.

Turning swiftly, the silver eyed man ran blindly through the door, It took all of his self-control to keep going when he heard a chorus of "Sirius!" followed by footsteps and a few undignified snaps from offended guests. Gasping in a quick, useless breath he jumped on to the shiny black motorcycle waiting for him just outside. He was speeding away just as the four clambered outside, a solemn look across Albus Dumbledore's as he followed, smiling sadly down at a frustrated and upset looking James Potter. Lily took his hand and gave it a comforting squeeze before turning to Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew who both looked put out.

"He was here. He was right fucking _here_..." it was quiet for a long minute before Lily managed to get everyone back inside with the excuse of a happy wedding to finish. And it was a very happy wedding. They all pushed thoughts of their old friend to the back of their minds and had a good time.

Sirius Black had gotten home without incident, luckily enough. Home turned out to be a small apartment complex in a middle class part of town. He'd parked his bike in a provided garage and hurried up to his apartment to take care of his lip. Slipping the key into the door, he pushed it open and walked calmly toward the bathroom. Once he'd finished up, he walked into the kitchen to get a glass of water and an assortment of prescribed headache and sleeping pills. He just needed to be numb to the world for a while. Maybe then he wouldn't feel so guilty about running away.

_You're afraid._

He sat down heavily at his table as the thought came to mind, knowing he couldn't deny it. _I'm completely terrified._ He then downed the pills and walked off to his room to collapse fully clothed atop the sheets. Sleep was soon to overtake him.

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Reviews make me happy, and give me good advice, so please dear friend leave me one, it can even be concise.


	2. Just in case you forgot

_Author's Note: _You're all very lucky I got all but a paragraph of this done before I saw something the made me really depressed. You're luckier that being depressed gave me a little muse burst to finish up too.

_Description: _Actions come with consequences. When things went to far, he was expelled. When the pressure became too much he tried to vanish forever.

_Warning: _Sirius abuse! ...Okay, so he gets glomped a lot. And I didn't put in any breaks. It just... flowed better this way. Please tell me if it adds to or takes away to the story to be like this.

_Disclaimer: _I don't own Harry Potter... -sniffle- Christmas is coming up though!

Key: _italics_ - stressed words or thoughts.

"..." - talking.

* * *

**The Act of Forgiving**

**Chapter 1** :_Just in case you forgot_

The dorm room was dark.

It was so dark within the place he'd called home for what was going on five years that he could almost feel himself suffocating in the pitch black depths. This was going to be the last time he ever entered this room. He could already feel fresh hot tears streaming down his cheeks, following the trails left from his sobbing up in the Headmaster's office. A new kind of pain had entered him. Not only had he been expelled (which he fully deserved. Hell, give him the death penalty, he wouldn't resist.) but he had to spend the rest of the night here. He'd have to face his... they probably wouldn't let him call them friends anymore.

As he paused to really listen, Sirius could tell that both Peter and James were awake. Their breathing was heated much too quick for sleep, and much too close together. They were probably both sitting on James' bed. As he took a step into the room he heard it stop altogether and the creak of a bedspring as one of them shifted.

"Black." James' cold voice made his own breath stop and for a long moment that seemed to take years everything was completely silent. Finally there was the muttering of a spell and the lights came on. "Do you have any idea what you've done? What could have happened? Do you ever _think_? For Merlin's sake, Black, Remus could have _killed_ Snape. You could have made him a murderer? What the _fuck_ could have possessed you?"

Sirius kept his mouth shut, knowing that any attempt at speech would only cause him to cry harder. He ran a shaking hand across his face to try and clear up the damage that had already been done. He barely realized James had stepped forward until the young Potter had wrenched his arm away from his face and he felt a fist slam into the side of his jaw. The pain came as a shock and his eyes widened significantly as he looked back at his equally surprised friend. A small, squeaky voice sounded from across the room then.

"James! We said we'd let Moony confront him first!" Peter had stood and now shifted nervously just a foot away from the pair. As James turned to look at their smaller friend, the young Black slowly brought a hand up to nurse his throbbing jaw. His eyes dulled as he watched James' defeated nod. He was thrown a distinct glare from James before the other boy had settled himself back in his bed. Peter looked like he was biting back a comment as he quickly backed into his own bed. A whispered spell sounded and the room was thrust back into darkness.

Sirius had never been afraid of the dark before that night. And night had never seemed longer.

He had moved silently to his bed, sitting on the edge and not moving until his exhausted body collapsed back upon it and an uneasy sleep had taken him. When he awoke the room was much too quiet. James and Peter had left him here. Not that it mattered as he would be leaving forever just as soon as he got up to Dumbledore's office.

He threw his legs over the side of the bed and stood. He was shaky and unbalanced as he took a single step forward. This was going to be the beginning of the hardest time in his entire life. Where was he going to go? His mother wanted him about as much as she wanted to catch the plague. The feeling was quite mutual, but did he really have any other options? He felt his breath quickening. If he had to go back to Number 12, Grimmauld Place, it would be two years before he could leave again.

_I deserve this._

He was surprised by his own thoughts, but immediately knew they were true. He had betrayed the only people that mattered in his life and now he had to suffer to consequences. He took a deep, steadying breath and managed to take another step toward the door. His eyes wandered, taking in everything as it hit him once more that he was really never coming back. Memories began to gang on him, but each time he would feel an incessant throb in his jaw and he would remember that they hated him. James and Peter hated him and Remus... Remus would hate him more than either of them could.

Before he could pull himself from his thoughts the door burst open and an enraged looking Remus came into the room. "How could you?" the voice was still soft, but so dangerously wolf-like that Sirius couldn't help but to gulp as he stumbled backward a step. The young Lupin quickly made up for this by coming forward and punching him hard in the jaw on the already bruised skin. The young Black flinched away, hand going up to lightly touch the throbbing skin.

"I... I don't know. I didn't--"

"No! You didn't bloody well think! You _betrayed _me! I trusted you with the biggest secret of my life an you bloody used it against me! You're no better than your dammed family!" Remus ranted, fists clenched so tightly that his knuckles had gone white.

Sirius couldn't look at his former best mate. The other was right. Completely right. He'd ruined everything. His eyes flickered toward the door and he realized that James and Peter must have been there the whole time as Peter stepped forward. "I hate you." he said, voice lacking its usual tremor as he went directly to his bed. Both James and Remus nodded and Sirius felt his head drop to look at the very interesting floor as he whispered a reply.

"You never have to deal with me again, I promise."

With that he had slowly walked out of the door and down the steps, silver eyes opening so blurry that he must still be making the trek to Dumbledore's office. But when he wiped his eyes it all came back to him. He was laying on his bed in his apartment, the off-white ceiling mocking him as the sunlight glittered and bounced with the shapes cast by the way light came through his curtains. Sitting up slowly, he rubbed his sleeve across his eyes only to curse as he realized he was still wearing his leather jacket from when he'd collapsed on his bed the night before. In fact, he was still wearing all of yesterday's clothes.

This had been happening all too often since he'd went to James and Lily's wedding. He'd find himself going mechanically getting ready and hurrying to his college classes in the morning, rushing from there to his job (which he worked from around lunchtime to the beginning of dinner, though on weekends, he would usually work breakfast too.) at a small local cafe, coming home to finish all his assignments, and finally taking his pills and falling asleep fully clothed on his bed.

It just so happened that today was Saturday. His silver eyes wandered to the clock and he cursed madly as he saw that he had slept in. He could have sworn he'd set the alarm for an hour later than usual. Deciding this didn't matter, he jumped up and hurriedly changed into whatever was on top in his drawers before rushing out of the apartment to jump on his motorcycle. It was a miracle that he made it on time to work.

He worked his first few hours without a problem and even joked around a bit with his coworkers. The day seemed to be going a lot more smoothly than the last several had and he was very glad for the change. Perhaps it wasn't just James and Lily's wedding that had set him off. Now that he thought of it, it could have just been the extra homework as exams came closer and the way several other college students seemed to be doubling the costumer base as stress brought them seeking different studying environments.

"Hello, my name's Sirius. I'll be your server today." he chimed, feigning a cheerful voice easily as he came to his next table. As he was pushing his long black hair behind one ear he finally got a good look at the red haired woman and her light brown haired friend who were both staring at him with big eyes and unbelieving expressions on their faces. He felt his false smile completely fall and his breath caught in his throat.

He stood, unable to move as he stared at Lily Ev—Potter and Remus Lupin. They too seemed frozen and for a long moment the only comfort the young Black could feel was from the cafe chatter surrounding them, seeming to drown his senses and suffocate him beneath it. Maybe he could die from just the chatter alone and not have to deal with this. Suddenly, Lily had stood, her hand rushing to meet his cheek. He staggered backwards a step or two in shock as the whole cafe seemed to go completely silent. He looked around, realizing that most everyone had turned to watch and gave a slight shrug as a coworker mouthed an 'Are you okay?' at him.

Remus seemed to find himself again and said in a very quiet voice "Grab him."

Lily didn't hesitate to pinch Sirius' ear between her fingers as she began for the door. A brave coworker, the same that had mouthed to Sirius just a moment ago tried to stop her with a "Ma'am, his shift isn't over yet!" she pushed past the man and finally pulled the young Black out into the daylight. Remus paused briefly and turned to the coworker.

"I'm afraid we're going to have to apprehend Sirius for a little while. If you could please inform his boss that he suddenly became ill?"it was posed as a question but the poor man could tell it was more of a threat as he nodded suddenly and turned quickly for the kitchen. Remus smiled politely at all the gawkers before turning to follow Lily and Sirius out the door.

Outside he was met with quite a sight. Lily still had Sirius by the ear. The later had finally seemed to have come to his senses and was uncomfortably trying to push her hand away. "No offense, but what the _fuck _do you think you're doing? I'm going to get _fired_." he said, voice low and irritated. Even so, they could all hear the insecurity and nervousness flaked in it.

"First off, I am dragging you by the ear to the nearest alley so Remus and I can apparate you back to my house where we will proceed to interrupt James' work, floo Peter, and have a very long talk with you." Lily began, looking to Remus to answer the second part of her captive's statement.

"And secondly," the werewolf began, coming up to take hold of Sirius' upper arm to keep him still, "I talked with one of your coworkers. Providing that he does as I asked your job should be fine." the young Lupin took a step forward and Lily followed. Sirius was forced to shuffle along between then until they slid into the alley by the cafe.

There was a loud crack just as Sirius felt like his entire body was being squeezed through too small an opening. Almost as soon as it had begun, the uncomfortable feeling stopped and he found himself in a very neat and clean living room. Assured now that he couldn't get away, both Remus and Lily released him, the later calling out, "James, get your ass out here. Remus and I brought home a stray."

There was a minute of intense cursing and Sirius felt his breathing getting very fast, could tell his vision was blurring, and knew he was beginning to panic. He was about to come face to face with a problem he'd been avoiding since he was fifteen. And the last memories he had of the people surrounding him were all bad ones.

_Your afraid._

That voice in the back of his head helpfully supplied and he was awarded a case of deja-vu._ I'm completely terrified_.

His silver eyes met hazel much too soon. He couldn't seem to read the expression on his former best mate's face and as the other started toward him with that unfamiliar look he felt himself growl completely still, breath catching in his throat. And then he was on the ground with an arm-full of James and he was staring in mild shock as the man that had just tackled him proceeded to pin him to the ground, eyes set to full glares.

"You right bloody _bastard_! How dare you disappear, ignore all our owls, show up at my fucking wedding, and then disappear again! I have no idea how the fuck Remus and Lily found you, but you better be grateful it wasn't me! I would have beat the shit out of your sorry ass. I would now, but Lily would kill me for getting blood on the carpet." And then he could feel James' arms around him and the other man's body shaking as he awkwardly lay beneath him. Was James Potter _crying_? He lay completely still, almost afraid of the other deciding to just punch him anyway before James had gotten up and offered him a hand. He took it stiffly, letting go the second he found his balance.

"Good to see you too..." Sirius found himself mumbling sarcastically as he nervously shuffled his feet. Suddenly he found himself hitting the ground again and let out a little cry of alarm as he heard a voice whispering fervently into his ear.

"Do you have any idea what kind of hell you put us through, Sirius?" and then he was confined to another hug. He gulped uncertainly, turning his head away just in time to see Lily leaning into the floo out of the corner of his eye. He groaned lightly, lifting his head the inch he could from his current position and let it fall hard to the floor.

"Why are you guys doing this?" he asked as Remus finally stood. He took the offered hand but felt even more awkward now that he was standing with two of his former best mates. The both looked at him quite incredulously for a moment before James opened his mouth to speak.

"Isn't it fucking obvious?"

Sirius didn't have time to answer as Lily pulled her head out of the floo and walked over to give him a hug. "You're a complete fool, Sirius Black." he was quite surprised by her hug and again found himself awkwardly unresponsive until she pulled away. He gulped and started talking even as Peter tumbled out of the floo.

"So first I get assaulted in front of my coworkers and customers, abducted from work, dragged into an alley, apparated into a strange house, assaulted again, and insulted. Anything else I need to be aware of?" he asked, leaning warily against the wall as Peter gave him a wide-eyed stare and he suddenly found himself on the floor for the third time. Only this time it wasn't the Quidditch toned James or werewolf skinny Remus. He felt all his breath being knocked out of him as Peter hugged him tightly and squeaked out random things.

"Oh Sirius! I can't believe you're here! We all saw you at the wedding and... Good Merlin it's been a long time!" Around the room the tension left everyone but the young Black as James laughed and grabbed Peter's shoulder to pull him off.

"C'mon, Pete. Let the guy breathe."

Sirius found yet another hand being lowered toward him and closed his eyes to get over his building irritation. "Can we please stop having 'Glomp a Black' day?" he asked in a strained voice as he once more leaned against the wall. This only elicited more laughs from around the room before Lily was taking over.

"Well, everybody sit down. I'll go get us some drinks. Firewhiskey sound good?" she didn't wait for an answer before bustling off and Sirius couldn't help the slight grin that came to his face.

"I haven't had firewhiskey since my fifteenth birthday." he muttered as James shoved him into an armchair. He found eyes staring at him and sighed. "I'm going to have to explain everything, aren't I?" he asked slowly. There were nods around the room as Lily came back in with five bottles of whiskey and passed them out. They all sat in a slightly tense silence, bottles clinking and a accidental slurping noise here or there before Remus finally broke the tension.

"Well Sirius, get talking."

The young Black took a deep breath, bracing himself for what was still a very emotional story for him. He may have gotten a stable life together in the muggle world, but even now, years later, he was still struggling with the memories of what had happened, of what he'd done.

"I guess I'm not getting out of this. I better start from the beginning." silence followed his words and he risked a glance up to see all eyes on him. Taking a quick, steadying drink of the alcohol still clutched in his hand he found the strength to begin. "It all started that night I sent Snape after Remus. Or rather, when I got expelled for it." he began slowly.

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You know you want to cheer me up and leave a review. -puppydog eyes with Sirius and Remus-


	3. Life worth living

_Author's Note:_ This chapter is long. And actually annoys me. Oh well. Hope you guys like it.

_Description: _Actions come with consequences. When things went to far, he was expelled. When the pressure became too much he tried to vanish forever.

_Warning:_ Real Sirius abuse. You'll see. And made-ups. I'm sorry. But... there aren't any muggles... -tiny voice- That I can use... Tell me what you think of them?

_Disclaimer:_ All I want for Christmas is Remus and Sirius. Together. In bed. And a camera. )

Key: _italics_ - stressed words, transition, or perhaps thoughts.

"..." - talking.

* * *

**The Act of Forgiving**

**Chapter 2 **:_Life worth living_

Silver eyes opened slowly, looking warily around the room as he tried to locate the annoying buzzing sound that had woken him up. It took him a long minute of looking around before his eyes fell on the little alarm clock by his bed and he groaned as his fingers fumbled with it, trying desperately to remember how to turn it off. Once he finally figured it out, he let out another groan as he looked around the room. He'd been here one whole day now, sitting in the small apartment and trying to put all his stuff away despite his thoughts of how useless this all was. Why the hell should he even attempt to start a new life as a muggle after everything had gone so wrong in the wizarding world? He'd lost his three best friends. His reasons for living. How many days had he sat in his room back at Grimmauld Place and just thought about James, Peter, and Remus when his mum had gotten on his last nerve or his father had yelled one too many times or Regulus had glared at him so much he just couldn't stand it anymore? But didn't he deserve this? All of this? He'd betray his friends. He'd practically told Severus Snape how to get past the dammed whomping willow and in this ruined everything he'd fought so hard to keep.

Regardless the thoughts now swirling through his head he mechanically began to prepare for his first day at a near-by muggle High School. He was suppose the be in the tenth grade, just transferred in from a private school in Scotland. The story ran through his head a few times as he adjusted the tie of the new school's uniform. Feeling much too queasy to eat a thing, he skipped breakfast altogether as he grabbed his bag and descended the apartment building stairs to await the bus that was suppose to come pick him up. As much as he hated everything that was happening right now, as much as everything sucked, he couldn't help but to say a silent thanks to Dumbledore for making sure he was adequately prepared to start his new life no matter how unwilling to do so he was. There was a part of him that couldn't help but to imagine James bouncing on the balls of his feet in excitement at his first muggle school bus ride, Peter munching absently on some sort of candy bar and thought of what fun they could have pranking the unsuspecting muggles., and Remus would be standing there _reading_ of all things. His fantasy changed suddenly and he remember that they wouldn't be here for the soul reason that he was. Their voices began to sound in his head all at once.

"_Remus could have _killed _Snape_._"_

"_You're no better than your family!"_

"_I hate you."_

He physically winced as he tried to stave off the memories of that last encounter with his former friends. Of course it was just his luck that the very moment he did so the bus stopped in front of him. He took several deep breaths, even forcing a weak smile onto his lips as he stepped on to the bus. Unfortunately for him, it was too late. As he sat down in a seat directed by the bus driver and boy sitting behind him leaned around to begin speaking.

"Afraid of the bus?" he asked in a mocking tone and Sirius turned to get a look at the other, trying to figure out if it was worth it to hex the blonde haired boy before he remembered with a jolt that he would never be hexing anyone again. As the boy and a few others began to laugh, the young Black saw the blonde hair part to reveal emerald green eyes and another jolt sent him remembering his former best mate's crush, Lily Evans.

"Nice one, Noah!" one of the boy's friends said, reaching across the isle to pat his friend on the back. Noah grinned wickedly and playfully punched the boy in the shoulder. The other boy's hair was long, slightly shorter than Sirius' own but still quite long. He reached up to brush aside the brown locks, revealing a pair of hazel eyes. Though they were a shade darker than James', Sirius automatically made the comparison and wondered if perhaps his former friends hated him as much as these boys he didn't even know seemed to.

"Of course it was a nice one, Shawn. I'm always nice." Noah said suddenly, interrupting Sirius' train of thought.

"Hey, you guys assume he's new?" another boy asked, smirking wickedly at his two friends. His red hair bobbed on his head as he spoke, though his brown eyes seemed to be unable to rest on any one thing for very long as he looked away quickly after indicating Sirius. The young Black raised an eyebrow wondering why the boy hadn't bothered to just ask him if he was new. Being picked on or not, he would have answered.

"I would think that's a reasonable theory considering none of us have seen him before and it's halfway through the semester, John." another blonde boy answered without skipping a beat. Hidden behind his book, Sirius was attacked by a very strong memory of Remus sitting around reading almost non-stop and quickly swallowed down these thoughts as he forced himself to focus on the much too brightly colored hair, glasses, and blue eyes.

"Can't even look up to make your assessment, eh Drew?" Shawn asked and Drew grinned wickedly.

"Of course not." he replied and Sirius was about to turn around, convinced they wanted nothing more of him when Drew's eyes suddenly left the page and locked on to his own. "So, who have we been talking about anyway?" he asked slowly.

Sirius was silent for a long moment, trying to get his thoughts away from his former friends. He was surprised, however, when a picture of Severus Snape popped into his head. He and the others had always pranked and tormented the Slytherin non-stop. Hell, he'd almost killed the other for Merlin's sake. Perhaps he had felt something akin to this when they had first begun to target him.

"Hey, you alive in there?" he recognized Noah's voice and forced himself to focus.

Gulping down a wave of depressed nausea as he sat up a little straighter in his seat. "Black, Sirius Black." he answered, willing an aristocratic edge into his voice in hopes of at least gaining a little respect. Perhaps some of that training in acting proper and hiding emotions could go to some use? He tried to ignore their laughs and wondered what the hell was so funny about his name. As he glanced over from behind his hair, he realized that Drew was the only one not laughing. That didn't matter much though because just then John spoke again.

"What kind of a name is Sirius?" This got another round of laughs from everyone but Drew again who merely stared at his friend before opening his mouth to speak.

"It's the name of a star." he stated, disinterested now that he had gotten his point across. The book was back in front of his face in a matter of seconds.

"Whatever. It's still weird." Noah said, sitting back in his seat as if he was some sort of all-adored king. Sirius quickly turned back around, knowing he was better off just ignoring them for now and let his silver eyes wander to the window as his mind wandered to more depressing, albeit less _pressing _thoughts.

Outside, a two story building slowly came into view, looming over the bus in a seemingly frightening manner as the young Black's eyes readjusted. He was quick to his feet, wanting nothing more than to just get up and find the office so he could get away from the four that had antagonized him. Only he was quite surprised when he suddenly found the ground coming up to meet him and took a minute to actually realize he'd been tripped and the young man began to curse almost inaudibly under his breath as he pushed himself to his feet. He made sure to cast a quick glare back at Shawn who was laughing harder than all the others as they shuffled down the aisle behind him.

The bad start to his day refused to get any better as it progressed. He'd found that most of his classes included at least one of the four he'd met on the bus. To his dismay, they found may ways without magic to assist them to make him even more miserable than he'd already been. The fact that he was struggling to understand the material he was already suppose to know, had trouble even trying to concentrate on said material due to his thoughts being stuck on his old life, and was boarder lining on intense depression didn't help him a bit in avoiding any of the pranks the four tried to pull no matter how obvious the trap was.

The bus ride back did not prove any better. Throughout the ride he could hear them plotting and planning what they could do to him tomorrow, along with a few ideas for getting back at the English teacher who had assigned them an essay about their best friends. Every time he heard someone talk about the assignment, Sirius wanted to get physically ill. How could he write about his best friends when they hated him? He had to do it though, he supposed. He let his thoughts wander to how delighted James, Peter, and Remus must have been to see his bed empty and all his stuff gone. Despite the tears threatening to blur his vision, he managed to be extra careful getting up this time as he shuffled up the aisle and hurried to his apartment.

Needless to say he was quite surprised to see someone was sitting quite casually at his kitchen table when he opened the door. That someone looked over as he gasped in shock, dropping his bag to the floor. The blue eyes twinkled delightedly from behind half-moon spectacles as the man began to speak. "Hello Mr. Black. How was your first day of school?" he asked, voice light as if it was perfectly normal for a headmaster to break into the apartment of a former student for an unannounced visit.

"P-P-Professor?" Sirius managed in a completely intelligent manner as he stared disbelievingly at the old man that had taken it upon himself to get him into a muggle school, his own apartment, and equip him with a little bit more knowledge of his new life than he'd previously had. He began to walk slowly toward the table, realizing how rude that had been and silently cursed himself as he held out a hand with the man took without missing a beat. Finding his voice once more, the young Black remembered he had a question to answer. "It was... definitely not Hogwarts." he managed weakly, eyes looking about frantically for something he could do with his hands to distract himself. His eyes locked on a teapot and he vaguely remembered that he did know how to use it after that one time he'd begged the house elves to show him in a bout of rebelliousness against his parents. "Could I... You know... Get you anything? Tea?" he asked, letting his eyes find the older man's again.

"That sounds quite nice, Mr. Black." Dumbledore answered, letting his fingers intertwine on the table in front of him as he watched Sirius from behind his half-moon glasses as he practically made a leap for the teapot. He was quick to have it set up and running and began to search the cabinets for the sugar which was proving very elusive. Silence reigned until the teapot let out a shrill whistle and even then it was only the inanimate object making a noise until Sirius had filled two cups with the steaming liquid and passed one to his former headmaster.

"One lump of sugar or two?" Sirius asked the ice-breaker question, trying not to let his hands shake as he threw about six into his own cup.

"Two would be just fine." Albus answered, offering his former student a light smile as the young man dumped the sugar into the cup. "Is something bothering you, Mr. Black?"

"I..." was it really alright for him to tell the kindly old man what was going on? To explain the hollowed emptiness that had filled him since the moment he'd realized exactly what he'd done to Remus and the others? Was it really okay for him to try and seek some sort of comfort in the fact that his best friends hated him and he'd have to deal with never seeing them again? There was also the fact the Noah, Shawn, Drew, and John were not making things any easier. Already he could tell what was happening. It was all only going to get worse. He looked down into his teacup as he forced himself to answer. "It's just different, not being a Hogwarts I mean."

"Indeed it would be." the headmaster replied, taking a sip of his tea as he watched the younger boy from behind his half-moon spectacles. "Is that all you wish to tell me?" he asked after a pause and Sirius contemplated this a moment more.

"Yeah. I'm fine. It's just a big change." he answered, pulling on a weak smile to hide the part of him that broke inside for lying to the man that had already done so much for him.

Dumbledore nodded before pulling himself to his feet. "Would you be terribly opposed to my visiting again?" he asked, bringing his wand from his pocket and flicking it toward his teacup. The object cleaned itself before floating back into its cabinet.

"I... I suppose that would be alright." the younger man replied slowly, taking a sip from his tea to hide the relief he felt at the idea of having someone that knew all the details to talk to. Someone he didn't have to hide the facts from if he found he really did need to express the depression he could feel closing in around him. "Uhm... Professor?"

"Mr. Black, you are allowed to address me as Albus now. I am no longer a part of your teaching staff." the old man smiled, silently indicating that Sirius should feel free to continue what he had been saying.

"Erm... Albus," he began, tasting the name in his mouth as he wrestled with the idea of actually referring to his former headmaster as such. He found that the idea was satisfactory and that it would make it much easier for him to talk if he wasn't still thinking of the other as an authority figure. "Thank you. For everything. And... call me Sirius then." Albus nodded, a new sort of twinkle coming to his eyes as he took a step toward the fireplace.

"Remember Sirius, you are not barred from the floo network or owl communication. If you need me before I come again, you have only to contact me. The man pulled a handful of floo powder from a vase on the mantle and threw it into the fireplace. Emerald green flames burst into life and Albus offered him a small wave.

"I'll see you before long, Albus." Sirius said quickly and then his former headmaster had disappeared into the flames. The Black sighed and turned back toward his bag. He had homework due the next day and he figured he should just do it now and give himself a few hours of relief from his constant thoughts about his former friends. No, he could save those for later when he had to work on that English assignment. At least it wasn't due until Friday, he still had a few days.

The next few days passed in a blur of waking up, enduring a horrible bus ride, attempting to avoid the four pranksters, coming home to the apartment, the odd visit from Albus, doing his homework, thinking about James, Peter, and Remus, sleeping restlessly through the night, and then starting it all over again. Of course, he'd had to do that Best Friends essay in between. It had been a horror trying to write about the three people he missed more than anything regardless the fact that they hated him. Though his masks were getting harder to keep up as his mind came to greater realization about his knew life and everything it didn't entail, he still found each of Albus' visits to be a salvation from the hell of his thoughts.

Finally, Friday came.

He woke up to his own nightmare, dream Remus punching his hard as he told him he was no better than his family. Silver eyes drifted toward his alarm clock and suddenly he was very awake. The alarm hadn't gone off and he was running late. Cursing loudly, he jumped out of bed and rushed to prepare himself in time. As he walked out of the apartment dressed and still dripping from his shower his fingers ran madly through his hair in an attempt to make it look as if he'd at least run the brush through once. In reality, he hadn't had the time. But maybe it wouldn't look too bad... Just as he arrived at the stop, the bus was coming over the slight hill and he was silently thankful for his luck. Of course it all took another turn for the worse when he got to his seat and Noah found a perfect insult to start the day.

"Lose your brush, Black?" he sneered, causing the others to laugh too. In turn, Sirius attempting to ignore the continuing jeers from the four as the bus ride ensued. His attempt at reading instead only brought about more comments and an accusation that he was trying to imitate Drew. Needless to say, he hurried to his first class as fast as he possibly could.

The young Black found his head elsewhere as the day continued. He fell for far too many pranks, had to ask teachers to repeat far too many questions, and almost didn't realize it was time to go to his next class more than once. His reasons went a bit more deep than anyone really realized. Who wanted to read a report to their class about their best friends that hated them? The teacher most definitely hadn't been expecting what he'd written. At least, he was pretty sure this would be the case. As such, when time came he couldn't enter the room. He paused at the door, trying to take a deep calming breath. Drew, who shared the class with him was quick to raise an amused eyebrow as he passed. However, this only broke Sirius out of his trance and the other finally entered the room. A few other students had gone after a while and he could feel his heart pounding a hundred times too hard in his chest as he heard his name called. As he slowly stood, he could feel himself shaking and tried to collect himself.

"Well, Mr. Black, please begin." the teacher prompted as he hesitated.

"I was blessed with more than one best friend at the age of eleven. We were in all the same classes and spent every minute we could together between studying, homework, relationships, and secrets. Secrets were a very big part of our lives. More for some of us than others, which we all found out later. The point is, we were very close and very happy about it. I can't lie and say we weren't the perpetrators of quite a large number of pranks. Then everything fell apart. The concept is simple, I betray them and they're given perfect right to be angry, to hate me even. It's just the way it is with us. Regardless all the above, those three are still the only people I can associate with the endearment of best friend. Looking back, they deserve it more than any.

"James Potter was first and foremost the one I most identified with. Our families weren't known for getting along well, but neither of us minded. Mr. and Mrs. Potter were quick to accept our friendship. James was, to the rest of the school, a little over-the-top and obsessive, but it gave him flare. Most time his on-the-spot thinking could get both he and the rest of us out of quite a number of tight spots after a particularly daring prank. Underneath the egotistical boy everyone else knew, there was a caring, protective, and understanding friend. He may not have been the best with words but you could always count on him to accept anything right away. He was always willing to do anything he could for me and the other two, even if that meant turning against one of us after a stupid mistake that hurt another.

"Peter Pettigrew was a follower. Though even a follower has their moments to shine. His observant nature and unyielding loyalty to those he called friend was definitely a plus. These qualities dominated his crazy notions, (which were often very funny) and ineptitude in some of life's more simple tasks. Sometimes he was the wisest of us all, which is saying quite a lot considering Remus Lupin.

"Remus Lupin was a very intelligent person. He was quiet, insanely brilliant, a sort of teacher's pet type. Even those who weren't close to him knew that they could trust him with anything and that he would understand and try to help them out. Of course, that was just what everyone else saw. When one broke into his shell, so to speak, they would find a witty, incredibly brave, self-sacrificing boy with a dangerously devious mind. Unknown to most of the school, the real mastermind behind most everything we did was Remus.

"I was beyond lucky to find such friends. Considering I was a bit on the haughty side and raised to be a very self-centered person, it's a miracle that my rebellious tendencies spouted enough to be excepted by those three. After what happened between us, they are perfectly entitled to loathe me. In fact, I'm glad they were so unforgiving as I completely deserve it. Just as they always deserved better."

Sirius refused to look up when he finished, instead he calmly walked to the teacher's desk and placed it there before silently returning to his seat. A slow, sharp clap sounded somewhere near the middle of the room and the young Black glanced up to see Drew bring his hands together a time or two more before the rest of the class joined in the 'you just read something out loud so we're going to be polite about it' clapping.. No one said a word until the teacher broke the spell and called the next student to read their paper.

Sirius somehow managed to avoid his tormentors for almost the entire rest of the day. In fact, he would not have seen them until the inevitable bus ride had he not seen an owl swoop into the courtyard just as he was walking to get to the bus. He recognized that owl and knew he needed to just get it to go away before any of the muggles wondered why it was flying around with a letter tied to its leg. He slid into the courtyard, cursing slightly as the owl pecked him hard on the head before holding out its leg. Sirius flinched as he saw James' familiar chicken scrawl and began trying to shoo the bird away.

"An _owl,_ Black? Can you get any stranger?" Shawn's voice sounded from behind him and he turned so suddenly that the owl flew away with an angry and indignant hoot. If the damned boy didn't want his letter, well fuck him.

"Speechless, Black? Were you trying to hook up with the thing?" John asked, and Sirius backed away as the other took a step forward.

"Bugger off." he growled, trying to make his voice stronger than seeing that familiar print on the front of the envelope had made him feel.

"Oh? Growing a backbone, Black?" Shawn asked as both he and Noah came forward. Sirius took another step back but this time Noah followed and shoved him hard in the chest. He stumbled back, letting a gasp pass from between his lips as he hit the freezing cold water. He hadn't remembered being so close to the fountain. They'd had him backing up. Shit. He'd walked into another trap. Laughs erupted from the three standing above him and Noah couldn't help but to force words out of his mouth as he noticed Sirius' now soaking bag sitting the the water beside him.

"G-G-Good luck drying all your... haha... books o-out!" he managed before turning away with the other two to catch the bus in time. John couldn't help himself.

"Have a nice w-walk... hehe... home, Black!" he called over his shoulder and the three disappeared to one side of the building to get to the correct parking lot. Sirius slowly pulled himself out of the fountain. By the time he actually got around the building in his uncomfortably wet clothes, all the buses were gone. He sighed, resigning himself to a long walk back to his apartment. At least Albus would be there to dry everything off and save his books.

Dumbledore was more than happy to help him, though he seemed much more concerned on the matter of how exactly the younger man had gotten into the fountain in the first place.

"Sirius, this isn't the first time you've come back in need of my assistance." he stated calmly, obviously referring to the time Sirius had come back with ripped-up books, a limp, and a just as unconvincing story about falling as this one. Where both falls were highly probably, the headmaster of Hogwarts still could not find in in himself to believe the story. He'd had more than enough practice with lying students in his days, only this time it was so much different. Sirius, though much younger, had become a friend.

"I'm clumsy." the young Black tried but his voice sounded unconvincing even to himself. Albus eyed him for several long moments from behind his half-moon spectacles and Sirius shuffled uncomfortably until the old man turned to stare out the window.

"You and Severus are not so very different to one another, Sirius." the older man sated, intertwining his fingers together on the table in front of himself as he slowly looked back at his young friend. Sirius stared back at him, thinking this over.

"I'm not sure I understand what you're saying, Albus." he answered after a long moment, trying to dispel the nagging feeling that perhaps this had something to do with bullying. He knew about that only too well.

"If you ever do wish to tell me what is really going on, Sirius... you know how to get in contact." Dumbledore said slowly, beginning to stand with a quiet intensity as he let the weight of his words fill the room. He offered the younger man a smile, unable to leave to full tension behind as he walked toward the fireplace. Sirius offered him a weak smile in return, obviously thinking hard about what had been said as his hand came up in a half hearted wave.

For two and a half years Albus reminded him that if he ever wanted to talk... Sirius thought long and hard about it after every visit. He thought on it more every time Shawn, Noah, John, and especially Drew cornered him for another prank. His thoughts turned with a passion of need to tell every time another owl pecked on his window or another nightmare woke him in the middle of the darkest hours of morning. Every time he made another stupid mistake when depression had really set in, he almost gave in. Those two and a half years were his self-induced hell. When he finally realized that yes, he wanted to talk, he was at the lowest point in his life. Eighteen, in his last year of muggle formal education, depressed enough to almost enjoy every time he got tripped in the hallway and shoved into the fountain again. It was then that he finally picked up a handful of floo power and landed in a pile of tears and apologies and mumbled explanations so full of emotion that they were completely unable to be understood. Through it all, Albus was there. And eventually he came out the other side as a still sad, but completely better person. A high school diploma, an acceptance to a good collage, a job at a local cafe, and a new best friend to add to the list he'd kept since he was eleven. The four names shown out in his head, strong memories supporting them all. Good and bad, but bearable even if three of four could only hate him after what he'd done. Now he had a new hurdle to jump. He had to ask something completely unfair of the man that had done so much for him.

"Albus, I need to ask you a favor." he said slowly, taking a long sip from his tea before looking up to see the old man give him a nod to continue. "Can we stick to letters? I know it's a lot to ask... But I know you're busy. And it's not that you haven't done so much for me it's just... Merlin, I don't know. I'm sorry..."

"Sirius, I understand. I would be honored to be your pen pal." he gave a little smile before standing up. "Do not think this means I will stop visiting that cafe though. It is still my favorite place for a cup of tea when things at Hogwarts are quite calm." that got the young Black to laugh before he looked up with all seriousness in his silver eyes.

"Thank you, Albus. For everything."

"_You're welcome Sirius. Any time."_ Sirius shifted in his chair as he spoke those words that meant so much to him before bringing the firewhiskey bottle to his lips and chugged down whatever was left. For a moment, he remained staring at the bottle before his silver eyes very slowly looked up to meet firs James', then Peter's, Lily's, and finally Remus' eyes as he waited for some sort of response to his story. They didn't need to know how much he'd left out. No, that could wait for another time. If they ever wanted to see him again, that was.

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Sorry for the cliff hanger. I HAD to. It was so long... Please, tell me what you guys think by hitting the really pretty review button. I especially want opinions on Drew, Noah, Shawn, and John.


	4. Some Things

_Author's Note:_ This chapter is sooooo a filler. Sorry guys, be it has to be here. I hope your eyes don't bleed... Oh yeah. You wanna be in the spoon? The spoon is calling this story "Tay-off". (the spoon is an "on-spot" made up term meaning my lovely friends that say "THIS SUCKS ASS" and "I like" and "OMG, IT'S MY LOVUR.")

_Description: _Actions come with consequences. When things went to far, he was expelled. When the pressure became too much he tried to vanish forever.

_Warning: _Not boy love yet. Slight Sirius abuse. Thisisafiller.

_Disclaimer: _If I said I was the owner of Harry Potter, you'd know better, right?

Key: _italics_ - handwriting.

"..." - talking.

* * *

**The Act of Forgiving**

**Chapter 3** :_Some Things_

The silence thickened, threatening to overwhelm Sirius as he sat there, fingers fiddling with his firewhiskey bottle as he longed for another. Anything to break the awkwardness that had settled over the room. It was drowning him, after all. Sitting here with a bunch of people he hadn't spoken to in years. Bloody Merlin, he felt like he couldn't breathe.

"Sirius." it was Remus who finally broke the tension and the young Black mentally noted that he owed the werewolf a giant bar of chocolate whether or not he was accepted once more. "Do you think I hate you?" there was another tense moment of silence and that drowning feeling came back over Sirius as he glanced up shyly but couldn't keep eye contact. He braced himself to answer.

"I... wouldn't blame you if you did, Remus." he mumbled, not looking up as he head someone shift and come toward him. At least, he didn't look up until he heard more than felt a hard slap across his face. His gray eyes widened in shock, confusion, and a tinge of sadness even as Lily gasped in the background.

"Remus Johnathan Lupin!" she hissed but stopped when James held up a hand.

"Don't you dare even think that again!" the werewolf growled before grabbing a very surprised Sirius in a bone-crushing hug. For the first time since they had apprehended the dog animagus and dragged him into the house he slowly brought both arms up and hugged his old friend back as tightly as he could, all awkwardness melting as he felt himself begin to shake with tears because the friends that hated him had forgiven him. It didn't help that he still hadn't forgiven himself, but that was a thought for contemplation at a later point. The young Black's voice shook as he spoke.

"I-I-I'm so sorry. For everything..." the words were true. They meant all the things he couldn't bring himself to say. He was sorry for betraying them and for not accepting the owls they'd tried to send, and for every detail of what had happened that he wasn't telling them. He couldn't form the words to express any of this though, nothing but to say everything. Some parts of his soul were just too broken to try and reveal yet. Perhaps he was also afraid of his best friend's reactions so soon after getting them back.

After a few long seconds, another pair of arms wrapped themselves around the two men and Sirius looked up just in time to see James giving him a smile before a clumsier set of arms joined the hug. Sirius didn't need to turn to know that this new person was Peter. After all, Lily was just not that pudgy. Even if it was slightly uncomfortable and he was practically suffocated under all those arms, the message was so clear that even Peter got it. They forgave him and loved him and wanted him back. Nothing that had happened in the past mattered, regardless of the things they needed to work through and talk about. Not one of the young men could say how long they stood there. Seconds, minutes, hours? It didn't matter. For the first time in so many years, the Marauders were together and they all just took the time to feel more whole then any of them had in a long while. In Sirius' case, more whole did not mean completely at all. Even though the huge chasm had considerably slimmed out, there was still a gaping hole and he knew he wasn't ready to fill it.

"Welcome back, Padfoot." James said suddenly, pulling away with a bright smile and wiping a few stray tears from his eyes. The other two parted and they were suddenly all laughing. The sound was a breath of fresh air. It was something they all needed so desperately after the strain and awkwardness of being together again for so long. Out of the corner of his eye, Sirius noticed Lily coming back into the room. He didn't remember her leaving but he only too glad to see the sandwiches she was carrying with her. He hardly noticed her relieved smile as Peter saw the food and bounded forward.

"You, Padfoot, are never allowed to leave us again. Just so you are well informed." Remus said, wiping his eyes as he took a slow step toward the plate of sandwiches. Lily really did make amazing sandwiches after all and one would really be missing out did they not get to them before Peter (love him as they may) ate them all first. Sirius couldn't help the grin that stole his face as he nodded, attempting to wipe his own eyes as he got to his feet.

"Not this time," his smile faltered slightly, "the first time was more than enough."

A comfortable silence fell over the group as they all munched on their sandwiches and sipped on the tea Lily had run back into the kitchen for.

"Oh! Padfoot!" Peter suddenly broke the silence and everyone turned to stare. They all tried to pretend that it wasn't awkward at all for the other to be talking with his mouth stuffed full of sandwich, this being especially hard for Sirius as their rat animagus friend blabbered away a bit more. "If we ever run across those bully people, we're gonna get them Marauder style!" that said, the Pettigrew turned back to his food and shoved an impossible bite into his still half-full mouth. Remus raised an eyebrow while James held back a chuckle, even Lily looked a little amused, if not concerned for his carpet. Sirius was the only one that looked very uncomfortable, nervous even. A pair of amber eyes flickered toward him, a frown appearing on the werewolf's face even though it was apparent Sirius had shared all he was going to on the matter. But there just had to be something he was keeping back.. and it had to be important.

"So..." the Black started slowly, "how about you guys? What have you been up to all this time?" he asked, trying to tease his own tension. It wasn't surprising that James' face was the one to brighten up and even after all these years the dog animagus just _knew_ they were in for a Lily rant. Remus and Peter (the later of which still had quite a bit of food in his mouth) groaned and Lily sighed as if this was simply a boring subject that just had to pass.

"Lily let me take her on a date about three months after you left. It was so amazing. The sun glittered off her hair like a raging flame, her eyes sparkling like grass covered in fresh dew, and Merlin! Her outfit fit her in all the right places!" James was only getting started, but fortunately there was a saving grace to the story.

"If you would, get to the part where she left halfway through after you commented on her tits." Remus broke out, grinning as James' rant vibe considerably dropped, visible by his melting smile. Sirius, Peter, and Lily all broke out in chuckles at the rather comical expression while Remus hide his own behind one hand.

"A-And don't-- haha!-- forget hoe you didn't get another ch-chance until-- hah!-- seventh year when she saw you-- hehe!-- sulking on the top of the-- heh!-- Astronomy Tower!" Peter added, giggles finally diminishing as everyone else quieted a bit. Sirius quirked an eyebrow, wondering just why James would be sulking. Perhaps she'd rejected him earlier that day? James and Lily exchanged a glance.

"Well?" Lily asked impatiently and James sighed.

"Your birthday, Pads." Everyone was quiet for a minute, Sirius frowning slightly.

"I didn't realize... I'm sorry..." the Black mumbled and the male Potter gave him a look.

"Don't be, git." he joked, Lily rolling her eyes at the comment. The woman's voice dropped to one of exasperation as she spoke next.

"Can you say anything nice?" she asked and James smiled devilishly.

"I love you!" no one could help but the laugh, the worries forgotten for now.

"So really... What have you guys been up to?" Sirius asked again as everyone calmed down. Peter (whom had finally swallowed all that food) was the first to reply.

"I'm in the wizarding candy industry!" the rat squeaked, his chubby arms flapping about in his excitement. The young Black grinned madly, giving James and Remus an 'I so told you so' sort of look as he remembered the few times they'd somehow gotten on that subject back in school. Both of them rolled their eyes at him, although James was ready to reply when he finished.

"Believe it or not, I'm a lawyer at the Ministry. Werewolf defense, more accurately." the Potter said, wriggling his eyebrows at Remus. This only earned him a slap on the back of the head from Lily, and a nervous laugh from Remus. Sirius raised an amused eyebrow and Peter reached for the last sandwich.

"I opened up a muggle book shop." Remus put in after a slightly awkward pause, grinning devilishly at James and Peter's mock looks of horror. Sirius on the other hand smiled.

"That's just like you." he said, ignoring Lily's 'you're-so-stereotypical' look by laughing at the way the Potter and Pettigrew shifted their terrified glances toward his un-terrified face. They all broke once again into laughter which was broken by Lily.

"I'm a mediwitch." the woman said, looking for all the world she enjoyed her job. They all sat through another comfortable silence before Sirius decided he had to ask a question.

"So... first off... Remus, Lily, why did you choose the cafe I work at today?" he'd been wondering why two very magical people would choose his specific cafe to come hang out at. Not that he hadn't seen signs of a magical customer before, it was just... it was just that it was _them_, really.

"Lily and I hang out when James is busy and we're both off work. It was really a coincidence that we ran into you. Shame we didn't go there sooner, really." Remus answered, leaning back against the couch as if it belonged to him.

"Alright... Believable enough." Sirius mumbled and for some reason they all found this quite funny.

The rest of that day was spent laughing and getting reacquainted with one another. One thing was for certain, they had all grown up. Where the basics of their personalities was the same, they still had a lot to learn about each other and connect with. For Sirius, it was much more different than for the others who had the added bonus of having each other around. But it wasn't a lost cause. One thing was for certain, their friendship was somehow unbreakable this time, somehow stronger. They could all feel it, even amongst the secrets and unknowns.

Of course, all good days come to an end. Remus kindly agreed to apparate Sirius back to the alley near the cafe and they'd both said their goodbyes before the Lupin disappeared with a loud snap. The Black was quick to step into the cafe and apologize before going back out to his motorcycle. He drove back to the apartment complex, putting the bike away in the garage provided before walking slowly to the office to see if any mail had arrived while he'd been gone. He was expecting a few bills after all and it simply wouldn't do to leave them until morning. As it turned out, he did have a numbed of letters. As he walked toward his part of the complex, he shifted through his mail.

Bill, bill, junk mail, bill, what the fuck a letter... He paused, glancing at his handwritten address for a few moments before slowly looking up at the sender. The handwriting was an all too familiar looping scrawl that left him breathing hard as he hurried his step. A few seconds later he was locking himself in his apartment, dropping all his mail but that single letter. He collapsed on to his worn red couch before shakily reading the return address again.

_Drew McPhierce_

He didn't bother with the rest of the address as his shaking hands tore the envelope open and pulled out a single sheet of paper.

_Black,_

_It really has been far too long. How have you been? I must say I've been just fine, since I know you're wondering. I should probably get to the point of my correspondence as you're probably dying of anticipation. It has been far too long and I believe it would be a wonderful idea to meet up. Besides, you know what is coming up, don't you? Anyway, there's a wonderful Italian restaurant on the outskirts of London. My schedule is clear for Thursday, let me know about your own. The day is surely quite fitting, all considering. I'll be awaiting your reply._

_-Drew_

The blood pounding through Sirius' ears was more of a sound than a feeling as he was numbed by the torrid of emotions fluttering through him at lightening speed. He was dizzy and could hear his breath getting kicker as he struggled to get a hold of himself. No! He didn't want to go! He didn't want to go through everything again! But he knew he would go. He knew he would do everything the same as always. He had before, every time, and he would continue to even now because even eith the return of his best friends he had nothing to hold on to.

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I know it was a filler, but I still want a review. -grin- Actually, I'd really like to know what people think. It would also be nice to read your guesses on what you think is going on with that letter from Drew and what you think Sirius is hiding. Pleasepleaseplease send me love?


	5. As Bad as it Might Seem

_Author's Note:_ Well now that you all probably hate me, I finally finished this chapter. For taking so long it's short and gross. As an apology I'll combine the next two chapters and make one big long chapter that will answer some questions. I'm also going to try and work on some of my other stories again because I have time now and I hate leaving everyone waiting. I'm really sorry guys.

_Description:_ Actions come with consequences. When things went to far, he was expelled. When the pressure became too much he tried to vanish forever.

_Warning: _This chapter is kind of made of fail and runs on failure.

_Disclaimer:_ I own Harry Potter so much they made me buy my own house ties.

_Key:_ "..." - talking.

* * *

**The Act of Forgiving**

**Chapter 4 **:As Bad as it Might Seem

Whether or not our fair hero wished it, Sunday (also known as the very next day) made it's arrival in the quick, timely fashion it always seemed to. An alarm clock beeped, signaling the start of a day for one reluctant Sirius Black whom pulled himself from the bed with a light groan before finally standing up. Getting dressed and ready took a great deal less time today. His hands moved constantly, his body unable to relax as the letter he'd gotten the day before stared him down. Finally he picked it up, folding it carefully before shoving it back into it's envelope. The words hidden now, he found the strength to pull indifference from the depths of his subconscious. The mask helped him, shielding him from the dread rising in his stomach. He took the monstrosity into the guest room, pulling a box from the top shelf of the closet and carefully placing it inside with a collection of other similar ones. Placing the box carefully back settled him into a kind of calm only achieved by hiding away a troubling thing. With this done, he left the apartment and hopped on his motorcycle. Time for work.

Work went smoothly. Perhaps it went even more smoothly than was usual for most every one of his coworkers. The young Black kept himself busy. This may have seemed unusual but for the fact that he'd been dragged off just yesterday. Surely he was simply making up for lost time, the others all reasoned as they thought nothing more of it. By the end of his shift the areas he worked with were spotless, a nice wad of tips filled his pocket, and he had finally managed to relax for real.

His ride back home seemed almost peaceful. He took a slightly longer route, letting his thoughts flow back to the day before. He had his friends back now, didn't he? A slight grin infected his face, growing at the thought. They'd made it very clear that he wasn't leaving them again as well. Perhaps they could all meet up once more...

Finally parking his motorcycle, the young Black took a short look around. Glancing up toward his door he noted an owl was perched on the railing, someone was staring from their window, a little boy had run from one end to the other before disappearing inside one of the rooms... Wait! An owl was perched on the railing? In front of his door too! Bloody brilliant! And not in the best of ways, mind you. He bolted up the stairs, rather flustered but very excited at the same time.

"You've caused a bit of a scene, haven't you?" he asked the bird as he got closer, keys clanging against each other as he fumbled with the lock. A hoot and a head tilt answered him as he finally managed to thrust the door open. "Well come in then." he said, rolling his eyes as the creature flew in before him. Following behind, the young Black suddenly found his interest peaked. That script he'd seen across the front of the envelope in the flash it had been visible... it was so familiar yet... different. It had to be one of the marauders. His heart fluttered to a happy beat at the thought and he was quick to grab the owl a piece of bread before untying the letter from it's leg. By the way it made no move for the door even with the food securely in it's mouth, Sirius figured it would be awaiting a reply. As it took a bite and let the rest of the bread fall to the table he rolled his eyes, yet counted it as a reaffirmation. His fingers shook in excitement as he parted the paper binding from the letter, eyes gliding quickly across the page.

_Padfoot,_

_I'm coming to visit you at the cafe tomorrow whether you wish me there or not. I advise you inform me of the time of your break or else deal with the consequence of paying me mind regardless how busy you are. I've missed you, Pads._

_Love,_

_Moony_

He was grinning like an idiot now. After all, it wasn't every day that the first correspondence from your newly acquainted best friends threatened you for a bit of your time. He was quick to find a bit of parchment, a quill, and some ink before returning to the table. Just as he was about to sit, however, he remembered another correspondent he still had to write back. His gray eyes closed, hands letting the materials he'd gathered assemble on the table before he left it once more. Coming back with a notebook and pen seemed a much bigger burden, but he really had no choice.

He decided to get things over with first and kept the notebook in front of him. He wrote very little, not bothering to address more than one part of the letter he'd received.

_Drew,_

_I'll be there._

_-Sirius_

The next letter had a lot more thought present and a great deal more excitement as to the writing.

_Remus,_

_I'd love you meet up with you. So don't give me any of this 'whether you want to or not' crap. My break is at 1:00 pm so don't be late. I'll be watching._

_Love,_

_Sirius_

He let the owl take the letter to Remus, waving the animal off as it fluttered it's way through his door. He followed it soon after, feet leading him to the mailbox in the apartment office. He vaguely wondered if he would have been able to pretend Drew's letter had been lost in the mail. Unfortunately, he knew that would do nothing. Oh well, let the future lie in wait. The rest of today was hereby devoted to working on some last minute essays for class tomorrow and general resting up.

The next morning was rather simple. He awoke before his alarm, excitement coursing through every bone in his body for the first time in years. He'd be meeting up with Remus today! He had only to get through classes and the first part of his shift at work. Getting ready took next to no time again that day, yet seemed to drag on and on. Why, he wondered, did everything take so long on days where good was to come? A recollection of the happiness he'd experienced in his youth had struck, bringing with it more memories of his friends than he'd formerly let himself recall.

Classes went much like his morning. Dragging on and on without much bad but still with much too much time to be killed. He was hardly able to contain himself when he was finally off to work. Of course, even there was a wait. He watched the clock like a hawk. The seconds ticked by, slower and slower. Minutes seemed to take years. Finally, one-o-clock pm. He looked to the door to see nothing.

"Sirius!"

He spun around, actually rather surprised to see his friend already seated.

"When did you get here?" he asked, sitting across from the werewolf with a grin so big it hurt his face.

"I've been here an hour. You were so focused on that damn clock you didn't notice." Remus said, laughing slightly as he picked his drink up to take a sip. "Really now, Padfoot. We need to work on this thing called attention..."

"Oh shut-up Remus." Sirius replied easily, smiling as his friend merely opened his mouth to speak again.

"How are you anyway? I see James hasn't mulled you at least." a smile graced the Lupin's features more fully and Sirius could not help but to note that he looked quite nice that way.

"I'm fine. Actually, I haven't heard from James yet. I figure he'll bother me when he's done with whatever we interrupted the other day." the young Black said good-naturedly.

"Bother you, hmm? Already disturbing you, are we?" Remus asked, a smirk playing at his lips.

"Not at all! I was just kidding, really!" Sirius interjected, a bit of desperation edging his voice. Remus was beginning to realize just how thin his old friend believed the ice was between them.

"I know, calm down." he softly intervened. "I was just teasing you."

"I knew that." a pale hand ran through the aristocratic male's black hair, an embarrassed smile plaguing his lips. "How about you? Doing fine?"

"Just great." Remus began, rolling his eyes at the way his friend seemed so terribly awkward. "Actually, better than great now we've got you back."

"Oh..?" Sirius knew they'd been trying to get in contact with him. What he didn't understand was how having him back had impacted them so positively. Well, had impacted Remus so positively at least.

"A lot of stuff happened after you left, actually. We may have thought it good at first, but in the long run... we all missed you a lot." Remus paused a moment before smiling slightly. "I actually wanted to ask you something, Sirius."

Sirius felt himself frowning, the, well, seriousness of the situation coming over him like a veil of foreboding. "Yeah, Remus?" he asked softly.

Remus let the question settle in the air between them for a few moments, fingers tapping almost nervously at the table. "Well I'd ask Lily and James but they're still only just getting their lives together and Peter is busy with this new girl and I know we've only just started speaking again and everything--"

"Remus, mate?" Sirius interrupted, his silver eyes hiding behind his lids before reappearing from a blink.

"Yes?" the werewolf asked, perhaps becoming the nervous one in place of the young Black.

"You're rambling, you know. I think you might feel better if you just got it out."

"Well, there's a chance I just might get evicted and I was kind of hoping I'd be able to come stay with you... Just until I could get myself a bit more financially stable..." he paused as Sirius let out a relieved laugh. "What's so funny?"

"It's just... you had me worried for a second there." Sirius answered between bits of laughter. It felt nice to laugh. He missed the barking sound, how it reminded him of his animagus self, of his friends, of Remus... "Of course you're welcome at my place, Remus. It's a bit of a mess, and my neighbors are a bit nosy but I mean... they're not so bad--"

"Sirius?"

"I'm rambling, right?" Sirius asked with a bit of an embarrassed smile. Remus just nodded, a small laugh of his own leaving him.

"And I'm not saying it's going to happen... just that it might... And you know... I can trust you and you already know about... well... my furry little problem." the young Lupin made sure to assure his friend. He was a little surprised when Sirius kind of faltered.

"Yeah... of course I know..." he mumbled in response, suddenly feeling as if he had to make it up somehow. "Hey look, this place makes some amazing chocolate milkshakes. My treat, hmm?" he let a smile reassert itself across his face, hoping that the prospect of chocolate was still as effective as it had been back at Hogwarts.

Remus blinked, a bit of a mischievous grin taking his face as he leaned forward "Amazing, huh?"

"Of course, only the best for one of my best friends." Sirius said, trying to ignore the rush of blood threatening to consume his face as Remus leaned closer. "I'll get right on that." he assured before jumping up and rushing for the kitchen. After all these years he still hadn't gotten over it. And after all these years he still had no more courage than to run away.

His break came to a quick close and Remus went on his way, a go cup containing a last minute refill of milkshake. Sirius spent the rest of his shift thinking of Remus and the conversation they'd had. He hadn't realized that his friends had been hurt by his leaving. Well, the day before had made it more clear, but Remus's words really stuck. _We may have thought it good at first, but in the long run... we all missed you a lot._

The moment he got back to his apartment he set about cleaning the place up. Sure, Remus had said maybe, but maybe was all he needed to feel a rush of joy at the thought of not being alone anymore. And sure, Remus being evicted was a bad thing. But if it meant he'd be staying here... then maybe it wasn't as bad as it might seem.

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I know I'm an awful person for not posting this sooner, but would you mind reviewing to let me know someone is still reading?


	6. So Much for Reunions

_Author's Note: _I know. I'm awful. But it's an update! Nine and a half pages on word! Long like I promised! Although maybe not as question answering. Unless you look really close. I like using little thing to make the plot if you want a bit of a hint. This chapter is rated to everyone who continues to read this despite the strange updating pattern whether you review or not (I love reviews though). I also promised my friend Kes/Bii/Caleb (;D) that it's dedicated to him even though he keeps complaining about wanting some RemusxSirius mansex (which I'll be more than happy to obligue eventually, dear). Anyway, I'm sure you just want to story so I'll post the rest of my junk and let you get on with it.

_Description: _Actions come with consequences. When things went to far, he was expelled. When the pressure became too much he tried to vanish forever.

_Warning: _Craziness, ramblings of an insane author, Sirius happiness, random visits, threat of motorbike mutilation, and a spine-chilling you'll all hate.

_Key: italics_ -stressed words, thoughts, handwriting

"..." -talking

* * *

**The Act of Forgiving**

**Chapter 5** :So Much for Reunions

Sirius had most definitely over-worked himself the night before. He's rushed around to get every corner of the apartment spotless, every bit of furniture correctly lined up, everything in the fridge sorted a good bit better than it had been before. Though all his work could very well have been for naught (in fact, he was very convinced it was as such) he was able to fall asleep with a light, carefree smile across his lips. Sure, things were still very awkward and he knew it would take quite a time to get used to on both his part and everyone else's, but things were just going so... right after so long in the dark.

The next morning was like many others, aside from the slight skip in his step. He was all dressed up for classes on account of the fact that it was now Tuesday and walking toward his motorcycle when he noticed the voices in the apartment offices. It seemed that some sort of disturbance was taking place and as he knew the girl on duty this morning was new he figured it would be very nice of him to come in and check for any mail from the day before to give her a break from whoever was making her morning so stressful.

As he opened the door, his heart skipped a beat and it took all he had to not burst into a roar of barking laughter and goofy smiles as he realized it was a very familiar face arguing with the young lady as politely as the young man possibly could.

"You see, ma'am, I'm his friend. He forgot to give me the apartment number." Remus Lupin insisted, one hand fiddling with the sleeve of his worn clothes as he hoped for a more positive response.

"Your name isn't on the list of applicable persons able to receive such information, Mr. Lupin." the secretary informed him, one hand resting on her hip as the other ran down the page. Sirius shook his head lightly before deciding it would be in his best interest to interfere.

"Remus!" he called, voice suggesting that he had of course been expecting the werewolf at the very minute and had simply stopped by the office to see if anyone had seen him. "Why are you all the way down here? I could have sworn I'd given you the apartment number!" he threw an arm around his friend's shoulders, casually trying to turn him away from the desk to delay any further scene from taking place. "I'm sorry, miss. The inconvenience is all my fault." he threw over his shoulder to the now very irritated looking secretary as she scribbled down something in the book with pursed lips and an annoyed sigh. Remus smiled politely at her, throwing an apologetic wave over his shoulder as he was lead out of the building.

"Nice to see you too, Pads." Remus recited in the least sarcastic way possible for a Marauder. Sirius gave a nervous sort of laugh and quickly pulled his arm away as if fearing a rejection from the familiar touch.

"Sorry about the outburst, I didn't want her calling the police down." the young Black offered in response as the other male just grinned and rolled his eyes.

"It's really no problem, Sirius. It was my fault for not sending an owl." he responded easily, nodding to himself as he followed his friend up the stairs of one of the apartment buildings. "I just didn't have a whole lot of time. I hardly got done packing this morning." he went on before the other could open his mouth again.

Sirius tilted his head to the side, wondering what the rush would be for. "Well, firstly, you can visit whenever you like. No need to send owls. It kind of freaks the neighbors out. And secondly, hardly got done packing?"

"I... may have told you an untruth." the werewolf responded slowly, smile faltering before he decided to continue on. "I got evicted a few days ago. I had until this morning to get everything together and out... I should have told you yesterday but I was just... you know... I didn't want to have to rely on you. I thought maybe I could pull something together."

Sirius thought that over for a moment. Sure, he knew he didn't deserve complete trust from Remus or any of his old friends, but it still hurt to know that something like that had been kept from him after he'd been asked if his door was open for the other. He managed to bring a smile to his face, however. He understood that the young Lupin was a very independent and private person. After all, being a werewolf do that to anybody. "It's alright, I understand." he let the other know before stopping in front of one of the doors and fishing for his keys in one pocket. "I can't stay and help you unpack long, I've got classes to get to, but feel free to make yourself at home." he told the other before opening the door to reveal the apartment he'd kept since leaving school. It had been a gift from Albus, and he really didn't need anything bigger or smaller anyway so there was no point in moving out.

"Of course! Thanks, Sirius." Remus answered, stepping past his old friend to look around. The dog animagus just watched as the werewolf took in the entirety of the space, seeming to deep it appropriate as he turned to face the Black again. "Looks like you finally learned how to clean up after yourself." he teased, one hand slipping into his pocket to pull out a shrunken suitcase that fit neatly into the palm of his hand. "Which room am I looking for?"

Sirius felt a mischievous grin grace his features, worries crumbling at the light joking that he'd participated in over the past few days. "I was afraid a house elf might be taking things too far. This is a muggle neighborhood after all." he informed the other, stepping into the apartment and closing the door before starting into the hall. "Right this way, I assure you it's a five star environment." he teased, opening up the room and letting his friend slip inside in front of him. "I've got a few things on the closet shelf, but I moved everything else out last night when I was cleaning... you know... just in case."

Remus got his meaning and smiled gratefully, glad his friend had been so thoughtful. He couldn't stop himself from leaning forward to give Sirius a big hug, pulling away before giving the other a chance to react. "It's perfect, Sirius." he told him, setting the miniature suitcase on the bed and grabbing his wand from his other pocket as he recited the charm to size the bag and it's contents correctly again.

For a few minutes the two Marauders silently set about getting Remus unpacked. Though the majority was the young Black trying to be over-helpful and Remus having to refold random clothing items or pick them up to place them somewhere else before Sirius's eyes finally fell upon the clock.

"Shit... I gotta go, Remus. I'll see you later!" he threw out quickly, already rushing out of the room. "There's a spare key to the apartment on top of the fridge, you can keep it with you." he made sure to inform his friend before he was out the door and making a mad rush for his motorbike.

He went through his usual routine of paying mind during class, taking the proper notes, and waiting with a passion for the bell to chime so he could be off to work. After all, the sooner he got to work, the sooner his shift was over, and the sooner he could return home to see what Remus was up to. Or rather, that would have been his mindset toward his time in the cafe at least.

It was interrupted as the bell finally rang and he was driving himself to work. Or more specifically, as he entered the small cafe. The second he stepped through the front doors to make his way to the back there was a call. A very familiar call which caused his eyes to shoot up. "Sirius!" he blinked as his eyes widened slightly. He certainly hadn't expected James Potter to arrive at his place of work. He was briefly assaulted by what had happened last time someone visited him and he opened his mouth to reply.

"The guest room is already taken, if you got yourself kicked out. Go bother Peter." it was a joke, in all honesty, just to see James' head tilt to the side, brows furrowing in confusion as he scrambled to push his glasses back up his nose before they could have a chance at sliding down to the floor.

"A bloke can't come visit one of his best mates without needing a place to stay?" he asked incredulously and Sirius just rolled his eyes and grinned.

"I have work to do, James."

"So who's staying at your place after getting kicked out?" of course James was curious after Sirius let it slip that the spare room was taken. Of course, he'd just assumed that Remus had at least mentioned it to both Peter and the Potters after getting settled in this morning. After all, it would only take a quick owl or floo call. Of course, Remus might not know the floo was connected to the apartment. He'd have to remember to tell him when he got back...

"Remus."

"Oh." James sounded slightly surprised, but in a 'I knew something was up why didn't Remus tell me' sort of way. And then he seemed to think better of demanding his friend's time while he had a job to do, fell silent, and turned back to his drink.

Sirius made his way to the back where he pulled his hair into a quick, messy ponytail and pulled on an apron bearing the company logo. As he made his way out to take orders and care for customers he was very aware of the fact that James was still sitting there, casually ordering another drink while sending a wink his way. He supposed he'd be busy during his break again. Perhaps he could grab himself some lunch this time now that he wasn't far too excited to think straight.

It seemed James Potter still had as bottomless a stomach as ever as he ordered drink after random sandwich after drink. And finally 1:00 pm rolled around. Sirius made his way to the back, grabbed himself a sandwich and drink, and finally approached the table.

"Took you long enough." James teased, finally pushing the coffee cup away from himself and staring it down. That was, until he seemed to realize he couldn't win a staring contest against something with no eyes.

"As long as you're not one of the crazy people that dragged me out of here, I don't think anyone would kick you out if you waited for me without ordering the whole menu. You're going to have one hell of a bill." Sirius finally informed him, figuring that that must be James' true problem. One of his hands reached down to lazily grab his sandwich and he took a quick bit as the other's man's mouth opened and closed stupidly for a few moments.

"They... wouldn't?" James asked before groaning to himself. "I just figured I had to have something to stay." he explained, looking a little put out before suddenly grinning. "How's my best friend in the entire world?"

Sirius blinked, a little taken aback by such a statement and dropped his sandwich back to his plate. "Best friend... in the entire world?" he asked softly, raising an eyebrow. "James, we only just saw each other after years and--"

He was promptly cut off as James reached across the table to cuff him on the top of the head. The movement was not necessarily painful, but it was quite shocking and that same coworker that had been so apt to help the young Black out before looked over to see if his friend was alright. Really, Sirius needed to invest his time in people who weren't constantly picking on him.

"And you still think of us as your best friends, so why can't we think of you the same way?" the Potter countered his earlier statement, twisting his wrist to pat the spot he'd hit before settling back down. "It was a stupid mistake. We were all stupid teenagers. Get over it, Padfoot. The rest of us have."

Sirius found his eyes downcast as he thought over what had been said. His hands pulled his drink toward him as he tried to postpone his inevitable reply. It all seemed so simple when put that way but he just couldn't comprehend how it was even possible. After what he'd done... Putting Remus in danger like that when the werewolf didn't deserve it, when he'd never done a thing to hurt anyone ever... He sighed, offering James a pained smile. "Yeah, I know. I'll try." he responded, betting James' hand away as the stag animagus made to slap him again.

"Mm. You'll do better than try, you'll do. Because once a Marauder puts his mind to it, he gets it done. You know, all that once a Marauder always a Marauder jazz too." James told him with a wink and a toss of his messy hair.

"You didn't just come and see me to give me a pep-talk, did you James?" Sirius asked, rolling his silver eyes and picking up his sandwich again. He took a rather large bite as he waited for James' response.

"Of course not. Lily demanded that I ask you to the park tomorrow. Remus and Peter will be there too." the messy haired male replied, pushing his glasses up his nose and back into place. "Oh don't give me that look. She'll probably make some kind of picnic or something. And I'm sure you haven't taken a day off in months. It'll be fun."

Sirius found his eyes rolling again, but this time a smile played at his lips. He really hadn't taken a day off in a while. Not since James and Lily's wedding, actually. Perhaps... since he did have his friends back... "Oh fine. But I'm not calling in sick to class." he replied, finishing off his sandwich for some sort of emphasis that was completely unneeded.

James faked a gasp, letting his eyes widen. His lips couldn't help but to curl up in a grin though. "The great Sirius Orion Black actually wants to go to class?" he asked, all theatrics. "Never thought I'd live to see the day. Our little Paddlykins is all grown up." he ran a finger over one of his eyes, flicking away an imaginary tear as Sirius came up with his come back.

"Well Mr. James Potter, being a lawyer takes quite a bit of brains too. You must have really picked up your work when I left you all." though it was a bit of a tender subject his leaving, the joke was nonetheless funny for all intents and purposes and both black-haired males found it in them to let out a few chuckles.

Of course they had to be interrupted. The ever so diligent coworker chose that moment to come over, tapping on the table to get their attention. "As glad as I am to see you all smiles Sirius, I'm afraid you've got to get back to work. You've only got two minutes to get washed up and back out here."

Sirius looked up sharply. Two minutes? "Dammit." he mumbled, already collecting his trash together. "Right, thanks. I'll see you... when am I suppose to meet you all anyway?"

"Tomorrow. Right after class. Bring that bike of yours. I've only ever seen your obsessive picture collection up close and I'll be damned if you don't let me have a go." James replied with a mischievous wink and a wave.

"Right, right." Sirius replied and walked away, managing another smirk as he glanced back to see James with his bill and looking rather surprised. Ah, it was nice to have his best friends back.

He wasn't far into the last part of his shift before James had paid and left. The young Black spent the remainder of the time wondering how the next day would go in the park. Would it be like old times plus a _not_ insulting/hexing/screaming/put-out Lily? Well, he didn't mean exactly like old times. After all, they hadn't been the nicest of people when they were young even if Sirius had managed to take it much too far. They'd sit around and think up schemes to torment the school, each plan involving a more complex and devious hex than the next. They may have been popular, but their antics had been quite a bit over the top and were really a bit childish to repeat as adults.

In fact, he could still remember the day that Albus had compared him to Severus Snape, the main object of their more cruelly intended pranks. Though he'd only half understood the words back then, they now seemed to shine with more clarity than he preferred to admit. Of course, he didn't tend to dwell on this too often seeing as he felt like he didn't deserve to be placed with such grace into a category with the man he'd so easily hurt. Then again, Severus wasn't bound to be anywhere close enough to become the target of any distasteful disturbances in the park. Perhaps he should dwell on nicer thoughts.

Thinking about past actions, he really preferred not to repeat them. He was almost glad he was incapable after being expelled. His wand had, of course, been snapped in two rendering him unable to preform the old spells and enchantments aside from his animagus abilities (which had to remain secret from everyone aside from the Marauders due to the fact that he was still quite unregistered) and the occasional burst of involuntary wandless magic.

Of course, he'd hardly managed to get anywhere with his thought thanks to the interruptions of orders and carrying trays and other such lovely cafe-related incidents before it was time to hang up his apron, talk to his boss about being off the next day, and begin his trek home. Home... right... back to Remus. A slight smile infected his face, refusing to diminish the entire ride back.

Even with his continued inner turmoil he could hardly contain the pure bursts of joy at the fact that the young Lupin trusted him enough to ask to stay in his apartment. As he'd argued with James earlier, it hadn't been very long since they had all formally met once more. Of course, something in the back of his decided to remind him of the numerous attempts at communication via owl and he couldn't help but feel a little bad for enforcing the isolation on them when they so obviously didn't agree. Of course, he'd managed to swallow down this guilt in favor of thinking they must all still be mad. Sure, it had been years, but people could hold grudges that long. Like his own grudge with his family.

Of course, that was all beside the point. The point being that he was still smiling (almost a goofy sort of expression) as he hopped off his bike and headed up the stairs to the apartment. Before long he was going about opening up the door, head tilting at the smell of food coming from the kitchen. He blinked, glancing over to see Remus standing there. His wand sat upon the counter top, not far from it a few pans were heating up some rather nice smelling food. As the door closed behind him, Sirius saw Remus look up.

"Hey, welcome back." the young Lupin threw toward him, stirring one of the pans before offering his friend a wink. "Dinner is almost ready. I figured it was the least I could do after you let me stay here." the werewolf added, turning off the stove and beginning to carry the pans to the table where he'd already set out some pot holders.

"Thanks, Remus. You really didn't have to." the young Black said, rather touched by the kind act even as he moved to take his seat. Remus just rolled his eyes and pushed his shoulder lightly.

"I know. Now eat up." the light brown haired man finished his task and took a seat himself.

They ate in silence for several minutes. Don't let that fool you though. It was far from an uncomfortable or awkward silence, it was just the silence of two old friends sitting around eating good food together and not talking because they didn't have anything intelligent to say. Of course, when Sirius did venture to talk it came out as an unintelligent, needless comment that Remus just blew off.

"Wow, this is great."

"I've had practice. It's nothing fancy."

Though those words were enough to give way to an actual conversation, however short. Starting with:

"How's the book shop?" courtesy of one Sirius Black.

"It's been doing fine. There was an incident with a window breaking that set funds back though." Remus said and Sirius suddenly understood why the werewolf had been having money trouble as of late.

"I see. That doesn't sound like fun." the dog animagus replied and Remus just nodded. Sirius decided they needed something better to talk about. "James invited me to the park tomorrow."

"I was wondering when he was going to ask you. Better late than never, hmm?"

"Yeah, I suppose you're quite right there."

The comfortable silence fell again, broken only when they parted ways for the night. For once the young Black actually allowed himself to relax enough for a dreamless sleep to fall over him.

When Sirius' alarm clock sounded the next morning he was out of bed quickly, quite afraid that the sound might wake Remus. Of course, as he shuffled out of the room toward the bathroom he found that his fears had been for naught. The young Lupin was sitting the the living room, a book in one hand and a stack of papers across his lap.

"Aren't you out of school?" he asked, wiping the sleep from his eyes to give the werewolf a once over. He got a laugh in return before those amber eyes were upon him, rolling before the mouth moved to answer him.

"I own a business, Sirius. That means I'm responsible for filling out all the paperwork. It's not so hard, really." the young Lupin couldn't help but to laugh at the look on Sirius' face. "Oh don't look at me like that. I'm sure you fill out more papers than me what with going to a muggle college and all."

It was Sirius' turn to roll his eyes and he did so with a flair. "I've never done so with such a content look on my face, Professor Lupin." he said, earning a snort from the werewolf.

"Go shower or whatever you got up to do." his friend teased, turning back to the papers and the dog animagus sighed, amused and shook hie head.

"Right, right. I can make breakfast when I'm done if you like."

"Don't worry about it. When you said 'make yourself at home' I immediately scoped out the kitchen."

"Of course you did. Get back to your work." the Black joked, turning back to the bathroom to shower. It was nicer than he ever could have imagined, having his friends back. Which he had really thought one too many times. But he couldn't help it. Here he was actually laughing thanks to a few morning greeting words with Remus Lupin who just happened to be staying with him. And later they would both be on their way to the park. What could be better?

Sirius was soon all ready to go and stood awkwardly by the door. "Do you need a ride to the park later?" he asked, not thinking about any magical means of transportation as Remus raised an eyebrow at him.

"I figured I'd just apparate to a safe zone near the park. Thanks though, Sirius. Can you get there all right?"

Sirius nodded, half relieved and half disappointed by the prospect that he wouldn't be taking Remus for a ride on the motorbike. He decided the cast the feelings aside and raised a hand in a wave. "I'll see you later then!"

"Bye, Padfoot."

The rest of that morning turned out to be rather uneventful. He rode his motorcycle off to class, and, after sitting through the lecture he eventually emerged to find himself in need of filling the motorbike's tank. This wasn't a problem as there was a filling station on the way to the park James had described yesterday and he was soon well and on his way there.

He was glad to see that he wasn't the first or last one there. James and Lily had already set up one of the picnic tables in the shade and were both drinking from bottles of lemonade. Sirius remembered at that point that Lily was a muggleborn and that it was likely that she exercised her knowledge of the world Sirius had been occupying these last few years in simple things like meal preparation. He offered them both a wave as he made his way over, glancing back to make sure his motorcycle was just was safely parked as it had been two seconds ago. Glancing back up he saw James' eyes on it while a pair of emerald green eyes rolled beside him.

"Want anything to drink, Sirius?" Lily asked him just as James stood up to make his way for the parking lot. His wife grabbed him by the back of the jacket and sat him right back down with one hand while offering the young Black a lemonade as he nodded.

"Thank you, Lily." he responded, opening up the bottle and smirking at James as he sighed and grumbled about not getting to go see the muggle contraption right away. "Hello to you too, James." the dog animagus cut in, taking a seat to await the arrival of Remus and Peter.

"Yeah, yeah. Hi Padfoot." James responded, pushing his glasses up as he turned back to the table. "Where's Moony?"

"He said he was going to apparate so I haven't seen him since this morning." the young Black replied and James looked quite surprised.

"You mean he had the perfect opportunity to take a ride on a real motorcycle and he turned it down? What's wrong with him?" the young Potter certainly did seem intent upon getting his turn and Sirius could help but to grin. Not only at what James said but because he could see something the other couldn't what with sitting on the opposite side of the table and all.

"There's nothing wrong with me, but you and Sirius sure have a problem. Do you have idea how dangerous those things are?" Remus asked, appearing behind James who jumped quite fantastically, not expecting the other.

Sirius, Lily, and Remus all burst out into laughs and James crossed his arms over his chest and gave them all light-hearted glares.

Within a few minutes Remus was sat down with a lemonade of his own and the four were carrying a light conversation over the safety of motorcycles. Though Lily agreed with Remus about their dangers, she most definitely seemed a lot more open minded about trying and after a little coaxing from James even admitted that she'd wanted to own one when she was younger. They were just about to considering beginning to eat without Peter when there was the sound of panting and running coming toward their table.

"Wormtail, mate. I thought you were going to be a no show." James teased, waving him into a seat. He smiled nervously and ran a hand through his mousy hair.

"Sorry... Got held up by my girlfriend." the young Pettigrew responded, gratefully taking the lemonade as Lily offered one. He took a long swig before turning to everyone else. "Thanks for waiting to start the party."

"Of course, Pete. It wouldn't be the same without you." Remus informed their friend, patting him on the shoulder. Sirius nodded to show he agreed but had other things on mind.

"So Lily, what's in the basket?" he knew full and well it was their lunch and as he watched her open it up to reveal-- you guessed it-- sandwiches, he grinned.

The five set about eating, a casual conversation ensuing. The second they had finished James jumped up. "Padfoot! We're going for a ride!" he declared, running around the table and plucking his friend's arm. "To the motorcycle!"

Sirius blinked, rather taken aback by the whole situation as he found himself stumbling behind the over-enthusiastic Potter. "Hey! Wait! Do you even know how to drive? James!"

Sirius had found himself relieved of the keys and James jumping haphazardly onto the black motorbike. He wasted no time in getting himself over there to cover the keyhole before the young Potter could potentially wreck his only means of transportation. James let out a sigh and crossed his arms.

"It can't be that difficult, Pads." he whined as Sirius reached up to grasp his keys and wrench them from the other man's grasp.

"It's only easy if you know what you're doing. I'm driving." the young Black insisted and James smirked in triumph. Even if he had to ride as a passenger he'd surely won this round.

So the two were off, Sirius driving them around while the other three watched. Impressed as ever by his friends accomplishing anything cool, Peter gave into the occasional urge to clap. Remus didn't seem so pleased and kept wincing every time it appeared the two might crash. Lily just rolled her eyes, laughing lightly as her husband offered her a huge grin and a thumbs up. After about two hours she and Peter had both been talked into taking a ride by an over-excited James. By the time they were all five back at the picnic table, it was no longer fun trying to tell Remus how much he'd missed out. They all parted ways all too soon as dinner began to approach. Or rather, James and Lily walked off together toward the apparation point with Peter trailing behind as Remus lingered back with Sirius.

"Is it really as fun as everyone kept saying?" he asked after an awkward moment of silence. That grin he'd missed so much the past few years flashed across Sirius' face and he nodded.

"I could give you a lift back to the apartment." he offered and Remus actually seemed to be considering it, amber eyes flickering around to make positive that the other three were truly gone.

"So long as you don't tell Prongs." he finally agreed.

Sirius was on;y too happy to oblige. The ride was quiet, both left to their thoughts as the wind rushed passed them. They ate with little conversation, perhaps reflecting upon the last few days before finally parting ways for bed.

The next day, Sirius' nightmare began anew.

The morning would have gone just fine had he not glanced at the calender upon instinct. 'Meeting.' had been scrawled in messy handwriting. Had Remus not already left to take care of his shop he would have been likely to ask about the slight gasp-turned-groan, perhaps stopped to Ask Sirius what was wrong as he skipped out on breakfast. But he wasn't there and instead the young Black was left to leave a note.

_Remus,_

_If I'm back tonight it won't be until late. So... don't worry and have a nice night._

_Love,_

_Sirius_

Figuring that would suffice, he left for school. Dreading what was to come he begged the clock to move as slowly as it had the past few days. He prayed to whatever was out there that he'd get held up in traffic and forced to work late. He even wished himself ill will in some sort of accident as he finally started for the Italian restaurant. Needless to say, time sped, he arrived to work quite early, and no car suddenly found the need to plow into him and his precious motorbike. It wasn't long until he was escorted to a table.

"Sirius! There you are!" though the voice sounded so pleasant, so kind, it sent chill up and down the young Black's spine and caused his lips to fall further into their frown. So much for reunions. "I've been waiting for you. How have you been?"

* * *

And so concludes chapter five. Took me forever to think of it's title. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed it. This time I really can promise you'll get answers next chapter. I'm also probably going to have to change the raiting because the next chapter gets a bit graphic. We'll see.


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